What’s the weirdest thing about pro cycling?
The whole concept of pro cycling is crazy when you think about it: I’m better at riding a bike than 99.9 percent of the people in my neighborhood,* so I jump on a plane to meet up with a bunch of guys in the top 0.01 percent in their neighborhoods so we can see who’s the very fastest.
It’s best not to think about the big picture, though, so I focus on bodily functions. The weirdest thing about my job is the amount of public urination that is required. We try to be discreet, but there just aren’t enough restrooms out there. I’m sure thousands of cars have passed me taking a nature break on training rides, with my back to the road. I’m always afraid that I’ll get caught, and I can only hope that the police officer also has a bladder and sympathizes with my plight.†
* 99.9! I’m so hard on myself! I think it’s safe to say that I’m the best bike racer in Toluca Lake, California.
† I pee in public twice a day on average, which is a crime. There’s the urban legend of someone who knows a guy who knows a guy who had to register as a sex offender for it, which would have to mean there’s at least one cop and one judge with no bladder, in a town with no real crime. Or he was peeing on a school or something.
Ask a Pro answers every question you’ve always wanted to ask about pro cycling. Recently retired pro cyclist Phil Gaimon gathers the absolute gems from his monthly Q&A feature column in VeloNews magazine into Ask a Pro and adds a dose of fresh commentary and even more acerbic and sharp-eyed insights.
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